Tel Aviv, Israel — They say Tel Aviv is the White City, full from end to end with pristine, shapely, ivory mini-towers. This, my friends, is a big fat lie. Unless they mean white by the second, lesser-known definition of white, which is “decrepit, dirty, and only one step above shantytown.” Not that I’m complaining; I think it gives the city more character to look like nobody gives a care about scraping off its mold. But if you came here looking for sparkling Bauhaus bungalows, ehhh … that’s a tough proposition. I’d say sorry, but I don’t really feel personally responsible for your deception.
But I’m feeling generous today so I’ll throw you a bone on this one: Sukkar, located at Pinsker 20, is a solid place to get a snack and caffeine in a neighborhood where at least, let’s say, 20 percent of the apartment buildings don’t look like they could easily also be found in Bolivia. The cafe itself, so I’ve been told, is also the only true Bauhaus cafe in Tel Aviv, considering that not only is it housed in an immaculately ivory Bauhaus construction, but also the cafe itself can be defined as Bauhaus since its windows are curved to the style.
To me, the curvalicious architecture is just gravy. In fact, if Sukkar were housed in a garbage can, it would still be one of my favorite places in Tel Aviv. This is mostly because, as opposed to, well, everywhere else in this city and country, you can actually hear decent music in this establishment. Par example, Sukkar is the one place in Tel Aviv where I have heard with mine own ears the song “Two Weeks” by Grizzly Bear. Erego, I know this place is blessed by the angel that is gay Brooklynite Edward Droste with his cherubic voice from the heavens. Additionally, Elliott Smith is a mainstay, and Peter, Bjorn and John get some action too.
And if you must know, the food at Sukkar is spectacular, especially all the salads and the Israeli breakfast. The cappuccino artistes are inspired by nuclear explosions; you can refer to the mushroom-cloud design I received not too long ago. And also the self-fulfilling prophecy of the name also amounted to top quality desserts, including the legendary Nutella pie. It’s exactly what it sounds like, but more magical when it takes up shop in your mouthparts.
To sum up, you’ve been mislead. But you can eat your feelings to the sad and lovely sounds of Elliott Smith in that elusive Bauhaus building you’ve searched for hi and lo. You can check off everything from the list you keep in your fanny pack, and then ride off into the sunset, feeling mostly deceived, but somewhat satisfied, especially as you are now full of chocolate.
1 year ago • Notes