Tel Aviv, Israel — My preferred brand of wasted youth is called “hipsters,” of whom there are two breeds. There are friendly hipsters, found in their natural habitat of San Francisco, Seattle, or elsewhere in the Pacific Northwest; and there are also mean hipsters, centrally located in Brooklyn as well as parts of Los Angeles, and tons running amuk in London and Paris. But, as always, there is also secret option #3: hipsters who have no idea that that’s what they are. This species can be observed carousing about their ignorant hipster scene primarily in Tel Aviv’s Shesek Bar, a watering hole named for the Hebrew word meaning “loquat”. Even more shockingly, not only don’t they know what hipster means, many of them can’t even pronounce the word! “What eez dis Eep-stair of which you speak?”
I have been tracking the migration patterns and mating habits of these rare creatures for some time. I follow their mating calls, being smooth sounds of the Strokes, the Gossip, Super Furry Animals and Blur, down to Lilienblum 17, into the smoky auburn-colored lair of the Tel Aviv hipsters too lazy to walk to Florentin and too well-groomed to hang out on Nachalat Binyamin. Their leader appears to be the DJ, whose noises control their every movement, but this turntabling leader-of-the-pack changes every night — still haven’t figured out of the new one has to fight the old one to the death to gain the post — and their mating call can be anything from American indie to house music. I have found this variety to be a rather intriguing aspect of the Ignoripster society, and further, I’ve found that Shesek is one of the only dependably good joints for tunes in Tel Aviv.
If you’re saying to yourself “Hallelujah! I was sure I was all alone, listening to Animal Collective in the dark!”, be warned: you may search out your kin at Shesek and end up sad and confused at a very different fruit-named bar also located at Lilienblum 17. If the crowd is older and tubby, you are at MishMish (Hebrew for apricot). Walk backwards slowly towards the emergency door (it’s there for this exact situation), avoiding eye contact and sudden movements. Exit and follow the fellow with the sleeve tattoo headed to meet his brethren next door. You can breathe easy now. You are home.
1 year ago • Notes