Tel Aviv, Israel — Apparently, the ideal place for an Israeli to drink is in the comfort of his or her home. I have made this hypothesis with the evidence that I can name offhand four bars with this theme in Tel Aviv: The Apartment, HaProzdor (the hallway), Vaad HaBayit (the housing association), and last but not least HaMaoz (the fort.)
HaMaoz is the newest and hippest of the bunch, also the biggest and most elaborate by far. Its your house, complete with your 18th-century washboard for your dishes, your Pikachu stuffed animal from the 46th-century or present-day-Japan, and your shower (pictured). The front of the bar is a classic Tel Aviv pickup setup with a five-times-bigger-than-it-needs-to-be bar space and people milling about the perimeters and sitting on the cushioned benches. The outside front balcony is expansive and fits at least as many people as the front room of the bar, with just as many of the GENIUS tiki torch holders as drink stands. And lastly, the backroom of the bar is where the real fort is: the “kitchen”, the “living room” with its pool table and flatscreen TV playing everything from nature videos to Humphrey Bogart whodunits, and the “bathroom” (as well as the actual bathrooms.)
The only thing not homey about HaMaoz is the total scenesters that frequent it. The 29-year-olds who’ve lived in Tel Aviv for “years”, who’ve “seen it all”, are bored of everything, and only hang out at bars and clubs that have opened within the past four months. They go to HaMaoz and maybe three other places in the city every night until they’re totally over it, and then they move on to the next, newly-opened, big thing. I’m looking forward to when they migrate so that Maoz will be mine all mine and I can finally watch Finding Nemo and then take a shower in the middle of the bar in peace. It’s like having a few hundred unruly houseguests you can’t wait to get the hell out. I’m biding my time…
1 year ago • Notes