Tel Aviv, Israel — Usually my favorite pick up line to the Hottie Mc Hotsteins in the bars and clubs, and in the bus and on the street and in line for the restroom, is “What time is it?” I read in a book called the internet that this is nonthreatening and non-aggressive, and ultimately, it makes guys think that they came up with the idea to talk to you. Genius.
But lately, to mix it up and improve my game, I’ve started using the question, “I’m new around here and I just don’t know which is the best Banai. What do you think?” The Banais being the Jacksons of the Israeli music industry, there are a plethora of them to choose from as a favorite, (though no one compares to HaMelekh Jackson.) I find it shows that I am cute yet culturally aware. But its all a big lie because I have my favorite Banai. His name is Uri.
Basically I just picked Uri for the reason that he is the one I am most closely related to on a scale of 1 to Kevin Bacon. My Same Name Friend’s father’s cousin’s daughter’s ex-husband is Uri Banai, and the little girl in this video for the song “Yalda” is Same Name Friend’s father’s cousin’s daughter’s daughter, so basically its like we’re super close and the bestest of friends, nevermind that we’ve never met and probably won’t. I choose all of my favorite things for largely unrealistically nepotistic reasons.
But for now, the bachelors in Tel Aviv don’t know I’m putting one over on them. It’ll be our little secret, Internet, tee hee!
1 year ago • Notes